AT A GLANCE

What happens when God’s people begin fighting one another? In 2 Samuel 2:12–32, Abner’s

resistance to God’s will erupts into civil war—and brothers become enemies. This passage warns us

about the destructive power of pride, bitterness, and “borrowed offense,” while pointing us to the

reconciliation Christ purchased by His blood. The church has a mission. We have disciples to make

and a gospel to proclaim. How much kingdom energy do we waste fighting one another?

INTRODUCTION

Two weeks ago we studied the first part of 2 Samuel 2. It was tragic to read that Abner, resisting the

Lord’s anointing, took Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, and made him king over the northern tribes. This

week we read the rest of chapter 2 and find even greater tragedy. What began with Abner’s

presumption to elevate himself to kingmaker ends inevitably – civil war. Brother turning on brother

to the bitter end.

And this passage speaks to us in the church today. It reminds us that a person can know the truth,

speak the truth, and yet resist it…even at the expense of people’s lives, even the lives of their own

brothers. Abner is a moral parable to us today. A warning. A rebuke. The same sinful spirit that

mobilized Abner lives inside all of us and it is upon us to put it to death. Sadly, pride often

entrenches us in our positions and creates a hill to die on out of every bump in the road.

2 SAMUEL 2:12-17

12 Orangevale Abner the son of Ner, and the servants of Ish-bosheth the son of Saul, went out from

Mahanaim to Gibeon. 13 And Joab the son of Zeruiah and the servants of David went out and

met them at the pool of Gibeon. And they sat down, the one on the one side of the pool, and

the other on the other side of the pool. 14 And Abner said to Joab, “Let the young men arise

and compete before us.” And Joab said, “Let them arise.” 15 Then they arose and passed

over by number, twelve for Benjamin and Ish-bosheth the son of Saul, and twelve of the

servants of David. 16 And each caught his opponent by the head and thrust his sword in his

opponent’s side, so they fell down together. Therefore that place was called Helkath-

hazzurim, which is at Gibeon. 17 And the battle was very fierce that day. And Abner and the

men of Israel were beaten before the servants of David.

The narrator does not say why Abner made this move, but the terms he used and the context lead us

to believe this was a military campaign. The term went out indicates troop movement. That there

were hundreds of soldiers ready to fight confirms it.

One thing to note here is the aggressor. Abner went out from Mahanaim to Gideon. He left Ish-

bosheth’s headquarters and crossed the Jordan river coming within five miles of Jerusalem. Joab

seems to have responded in self-defense.What’s interesting here is the word used for compete is always used in the context of amusement. It

would seem the recommendation made by Abner is of what is known as representative combat. The

idea is not that they would fight to the death, but that they would compete. Possibly to discern

whose side God was on.

Had they reflected on the outcome, perhaps they would have seen clearly that the Lord’s hand was

not in this. He had already chosen His people – both sides. God’s chosen people were fighting

God’s chosen people. Twelve Israelites fought twelve Israelites and 24 Israelites died.

That name Helkath-hazzurim means “field of hostilities.” Why name a place if not to remind

people of what happened there. The ensuing civil war thus begins at a known location. A specific

place. The two parties arrive and rather than settle matters faithfully, they act like beasts. Carnal.

Instinctual. Just like all the other nations. This only led to more fierce battle between the two parties.

VERSES 18-21

18 And the three sons of Zeruiah were there, Joab, Abishai, and Asahel. Now Asahel was as

swift of foot as a wild gazelle. 19 And Asahel pursued Abner, and as he went, he turned

neither to the right hand nor to the left from following Abner. 20 Then Abner looked behind

him and said, “Is it you, Asahel?” And he answered, “It is I.” 21 Abner said to him, “Turn

aside to your right hand or to your left, and seize one of the young men and take his spoil.”

But Asahel would not turn aside from following him.

Asahel is first introduced to us here. Later in 2 Samuel the narrator records he was part of David’s

circle of 30. He was an elite fighter. In 1 Samuel 26 were introduced to Abisahi. He accompanies

David on their daring escapade into Saul’s camp while Saul and Abner lie asleep on the ground.

Joab is mentioned as Abishai’s brother, but nothing more is said about him until here. In 1

Chronicles 2:16, we learn that Zeruiah is David’s sister, therefore these three men are his nephews.

The narrator tells us that Asahel, who was swift of foot as a wild gazelle, begins a foot chase after

Abner. He turns neither to the left or right, to attack other men who are also fleeing. Asahel isn’t

interested in killing just anyone. He’s interested in taking out the man responsible for establishing

another king in Israel.

VERSES 22-24a

22 And Abner said again to Asahel, “Turn aside from following me. Why should I strike you

to the ground? How then could I lift up my face to your brother Joab?” 23 But he refused to

turn aside. Therefore Abner struck him in the stomach with the butt of his spear, so that the

spear came out at his back. And he fell there and died where he was. And all who came to

the place where Asahel had fallen and died, stood still.

24 But Joab and Abishai pursued

Abner.

At some point Abner realized Asahel wasn’t going to be deterred, and he did what he had to do.

Abner felt he had no other choice and you can see that he took no pleasure in spearing Asahel,

mostly because he feared Joab’s retribution. Nevertheless, Abner put himself in this position.

When you start a fight, you lose control of the outcome and the residual effects. You don’t get to

determine how far a conflict spreads once you unleash it.

In one swift thrust of the spear, it was over for Asahel. This was a gruesome and sobering sight that

stopped David’s men in their tracks. While this was a sobering moment for the other soldiers, for

his brothers it became personal.

VERSES 24b-28

And as the sun was going down they came to the hill of Ammah, which lies before Giah on

the way to the wilderness of Gibeon. 25 And the people of Benjamin gathered themselvestogether behind Abner and became one group and took their stand on the top of a hill. 26

Then Abner called to Joab, “Shall the sword devour forever? Do you not know that the end

will be bitter? How long will it be before you tell your people to turn from the pursuit of

their brothers?” 27 And Joab said, “As God lives, if you had not spoken, surely the men would

not have given up the pursuit of their brothers until the morning.” 28 So Joab blew the

trumpet, and all the men stopped and pursued Israel no more, nor did they fight anymore.

Abner finally raises the white flag and speaks with a voice of reason and quells the pursuit, for now.

It’s ironic because Abner’s army occupies the high ground, a military advantage. Joab cancels the

pursuit but not before declaring that it was Abner who surrendered. As we’ll read in the coming

chapter Joab is going to get his revenge. But for now, the chase is off.

It is terribly ironic to me that Abner, the instigator of this conflict cries out for the hostilities to

cease. Had he not made the move to Gibeon in the first place, none of this would have taken place.

It is more ironic still that Abner speaks of brothers. What a hypocritical speech. To instigate a fight,

watch 24 men die, kill a man yourself, and then take the moral (and literal) high ground and cry foul

because you’re brothers?! He spoke truth, but only when it benefitted him. Hypocrisy at its highest.

The story ends where it began – defeat of Abner, victory for Joab.

VERSES 29-32

And Abner and his men went all that night through the Arabah. They crossed the Jordan,

and marching the whole morning, they came to Mahanaim. 30 Joab returned from the pursuit

of Abner. And when he had gathered all the people together, there were missing from

David’s servants nineteen men besides Asahel. 31 But the servants of David had struck down

of Benjamin 360 of Abner’s men. 32 And they took up Asahel and buried him in the tomb of

his father, which was at Bethlehem. And Joab and his men marched all night, and the day

broke upon them at Hebron.

Again, the narrator adds to David’s qualifications to be king. This time, it is that David’s men took

20 casualties (nineteen men besides Asahel) compared to Abner’s 360. This is a total victory for

Joab. Especially when you consider that 12 were killed in the first conflict. In the ensuing battle Joab

lost 8 men, including Asahel, to Abner’s 348.

THE BITTER END

All scripture is written for our instruction. So, church, what do we make of this if not the bitter end

of conflict between brothers? There is a serious lesson in here for us. For all that Abner did wrong,

at least he had the insight to see the bitter end of hostilities between brothers.

Isn’t this exactly what the author of Hebrews warns the church of? “See to it that no one fails to obtain

the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled…”

Hebrews 12:15

When bitterness takes root in a community, the pain spreads far more widely than the one who got

hurt. Time after time in my 19 years of ministry, I have witnessed the defilement of many that

comes from a single root of bitterness. There is a loving way to help our brothers process hurt. But

owning it as if it were ours own is not it.

Yes, the bible tells us to bear one another’s burdens. But it does not tell us to own their hurts. You

can sympathize with people who feel hurt without feeling hurt yourself. When their offense

becomes your offense, you are in danger of allowing their root of bitterness to defile you.

BORROWED OFFENSE

There’s a term for this. It’s called “borrowed offense.” It’s when someone tells you how badly

someone hurt them. You love them, so you begin experiencing their offense as though you were theone who got hurt. Eventually you become angrier with the offender than the person who was

originally offended.

In our culture of heightened emotionalism, it feels unkind if we do not harbor the same feelings

others have. If we do not draw the same conclusions others have drawn, then it is as if we do not

validate them as a person. If we do not join them in their fight, it as if we are not truly their allies. Be

warned, this only sucks you into their bitterness and leaves you defiled.

When this happens, you’ve lost ability to help that person navigate their pain biblically and faithfully.

You enter their conflict with them. You go to war with their enemies. And all too many times, their

enemies are your brothers.

Compassion says, “I will walk with you through your hurt and help you arrive at the truth and at

freedom.” But borrowed offense says, “Your enemy is now mine.” And before you know it, you’re

at war with your own brother.

YOU CAN KNOW THE TRUTH AND STILL RESIST IT

Abner knew that David was his brother and that God had given the kingdom to him. In the next

chapter he’s even going to herald that truth. And yet here he is resisting it, imposing his will rather

than submitting to Yahweh’s. Why? Pride? Control? Who knows.

What we do know is that Abner’s is a story of a man who knew the truth, spoke the truth, and still

resisted the truth. In the words of Dale Davis, “Abner is not far from any one of us. We share an

Abner nature that harbor sins, stupidity, perversity, and twistedness. Let Abner preach to you. Let

him tell you that it is possible to know the truth but not embrace the truth, to quote the truth but

not submit to the truth, to hold the truth and yet assault the truth.”

Let Abner’s story preach to us, church. It seems to me that what Jesus made one by His blood, the

church at large is far too eager to break apart; too quick to harbor resentment; too willing to water

the root of bitterness, and too apt to take sides and pick up arms against one another.

I invite you to take hold of your communion elements and dwell with me on this for a moment. The

bible says that we were at one time God’s enemies. (cf. Romans 5:10) We were doomed. And God

sent His Son into our world not to condemn us, but to save us. (cf. John 3:17) To reconcile us. To

make peace with us through the blood of the cross. (cf. Colossians 1:20)

RECONCILED TO GOD BUT NOT MAN?!

And I need you to grapple with this: you were enemies with God and now you’re not and you had

nothing to do with that. And your brother sitting on the other side of the room was an enemy of

God and now he’s not and he had nothing to do with that. Grace upon grace upon grace.

And you’re telling me that you cannot be at peace with him? That whatever hurt he has caused you

or she has caused you is more than you have caused God? That you cannot be reconciled to him?

God can be at peace with him, but you cannot. Abner do you hear yourself?! Something is severely

flawed with your theology. To think this way is to think like Abner who spoke the truth only when it

benefitted him from the high ground.

Church, we have become too slow to walk in forgiveness and too reluctant to reconcile. We need to

repent. We can cite the verses that command us to these. We can teach them. We can exhort others

to walk in obedience to them. Yet when pressed, we resist them. We convince ourselves that

somehow our case is the exception.

As I have already made clear, forgiveness does not necessarily mean restoration of trust. But there is

too much resentment and too little forgiveness in the church today. I’m not saying this applies only

to Wildwood, but I would be lying if I said Wildwood was exempt.

WHO WON?

Who won that day on the battlefield? It clearly says Joab’s men defeated Abner’s. But Joab lost his

brother. David lost his nephew and one of his best soldiers. So, who won? Twenty-four men got up

to compete and twenty-four fell dead. What changed? What was gained by this senseless conflict

Abner initiated?

We see God’s answer—Joab prevailed, and the day broke upon David’s men as they returned to

Hebron. We know which kingdom God is establishing in this story. But who won? I can tell it

wasn’t the kingdom. The people of God lost a combined 380 men that day. Three hundred and

eighty men who could have been taking ground and expanding the glory of God. Instead, they

fought one another.

The church has a mission. We have ground to take. We have disciples to multiply. We have the

gospel to proclaim to the nations. Instead, God’s people sometimes expend their energy

fighting…God’s people. How much kingdom energy does the church waste fighting itself, all the

while convinced it’s engaged in spiritual battle?!

By God’s grace and with a continual reminder of our own need for it, church, we can walk together

in holy unity. So let us strive for peace with everyone and see to it that no root of bitterness springs

up among us.