“And so began in his seventeenth year that blessed custom of Family Prayer, morning and evening, which my father practiced probably without one single avoidable omission till he lay on his deathbed, seventy-seven years of age; when, even to the last day of his life, a portion of Scripture was read, and his voice was heard softly joining in the Psalm, and his lips breathed the morning and evening Prayer, — falling in sweet benediction on the heads of all his children, far away many of them over all the earth, but all meeting him there at the Throne of Grace.– 

And blessed to others, as well as to ourselves was the light of such example! I have heard that in long after-years, the worst woman in the village,  . . . then leading an immoral life, but since changed by the grace of God, was known to declare, that the only thing that kept her from despair and from the Hell of the suicide, was when in the dark winter nights she crept close up underneath my father’s window, and heard him pleading in Family Worship that God would convert “the sinner from the error of wicked ways and polish him as a jewel for the Redeemer’s crown.” “I felt,” said she, “that I was a burden on that good man’s heart and I knew that God would not disappoint him. That thought kept me out of hell and at last, led me to the only Saviour.” – James Paton 

The story above is quoted from the book “Family Worship” by Donald Whitney, a book that has greatly shaped Wildwood over the last three years, as we seek to see families transformed by the power of the gospel. 

Family worship is of immeasurable importance for the health of any family and a witness of the gospel to a lost and dark world. Without it, the foundations of a family will crack and falter leading only to negative consequences. At the heart of each Christian family should be the pursuit of God together as a family unit. Consistently reading the word, praying together, and singing to the Lord in worship as a family is of utmost importance. As Thomas Brooks once said, “A family without prayer is like a house without a roof, open and exposed to all the storms of heaven.”

Listed below are some of the major reasons why men do not lead in family worship, along with encouragement to set those excuses aside. The primary audience of this article is married men, but this does not mean it won’t be of benefit to all who read it. We should all want to know how to pray for the fathers and husbands in our church and we should all desire to know what a godly family should look like. 

IT’S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY

Family Worship is the responsibility of men; the bible says as much about this in Ephesians 5 & 6 as well as many other places in scripture. As the head of the household and with a call to love your wife and children, you are responsible for their well-being, not only physically but spiritually. Imagine a man who instead of getting a job to provide for his family, lazes around the house while his family goes hungry and suffers. Similarly, men who are lazy in leading their families in worship can expect spiritual malnourishment in themselves and their families. If you take seriously the task of taking care of your family in making sure they have shelter, food, and other necessities how much more important is it that they are provided for spiritually? This is a calling of utmost importance, eternity hangs in the balance. 

I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT

You’re tired, you’re apathetic, you feel far from God. You ultimately don’t feel like leading out in family worship. It may be normal for the world to allow their feelings to lead them, but as believers, we are led by the Spirit of God through the power of his word. Even if we don’t feel like doing something, if we know God has called us to do something, we do it anyway. Christ followers walk by the Spirit rather than the flesh. The flesh is always unwilling to do the right thing, it is at war with the Spirit, this is made clear in Galatians 5. In the moments when you don’t feel like doing family worship, go to God and be honest about how you feel asking him to impassion your heart and give you the strength to do what you must.

How is your time with the Lord? Are you seeking him in his word on a daily basis? Is your prayer life vibrant or cold? Could it be that you don’t feel like leading your family in worship because your heart is far from God? It’s hard to feel like leading other people in worship when you yourself are not worshiping God. Begin to cultivate a heart of worship toward God in yourself and it will overflow into your family. Treasure God’s word and sweet time in prayer and I guarantee your emotions and feelings will change and you will desire to lead in family worship. Still, some days, even when we are striving to walk with God, we just don’t feel like leading in family worship; do it anyway. Do it knowing that God is good and that he blesses obedience. It may feel like drudgery at times, and it may feel useless at times but in the end, the transformation in your own heart and the hearts of your family members will speak for itself. 

I DON’T KNOW HOW

Many men grow up without having a proper role model of what family worship should look like. Without a framework to look to, men often feel lost. Fortunately, family worship is exceptionally simple to do. There is no father or husband who cannot do it! Family worship should consist of three things: reading, praying, and singing. That’s it! Just Read, Pray,  and Sing! Take 10 to 20 minutes (nothing wrong with going longer) a day at a specific time that works best for your family and begin going through a book of the bible, praying together, and singing. This should be done consistently, becoming a normal and expected family routine. 

• buy Lyrica overnight Tip: Family worship should consist of reading, praying, and singing; however each family will do this a little differently and possibly not in that order. If you are new to family worship, consider reaching out to men who have experience and ask them what it looks like for their families. You might get some great ideas that would work well for your own family.  Click here to learn more about Family Worship.

I DON’T HAVE TIME

This one to me is the worst excuse. You do have time, you just don’t have your priorities straight. Even if a man had to quit his current job in order to have family worship I would advise this; barring he had another job lined up first to provide for his family’s needs. This is somewhat of a hyperbolic statement, as there probably wouldn’t arise such an extreme situation. I am simply emphasizing the vital role of family worship. Generally speaking, we all have more than enough time to devote at least 10 minutes a day to family worship. We all have the time, we must order our lives and schedules to accommodate this top priority. 

I AM ASHAMED

Maybe you are ashamed of yourself for not leading your family in worship for so long. Maybe you are ashamed of your own walk with Christ and wonder how you can lead your family. If you are ashamed you are in good company because we all have fallen short in so many ways. What you can do right now is not let the shame draw you away from God, but rather let it drive you toward God in repentance. God through Christ has already forgiven all of your failures, past present, and future. If you are a believer you have received the Spirit of God and are now able to bear this responsibility successfully. So instead of feeling stuck in shame, and dwelling on past failures; Thank God for revealing this fault in you. Confess to your family that you have failed in this area and with joy begin leading your family in worship. It may be awkward and difficult at first but it will be worth it. I know a man who when he was younger was so desiring his father to lead in family worship. He wouldn’t have shamed his father for his failures if he tried to start fulfilling this call; rather he would have rejoiced greatly, praising God that his father was leading him!

FAMILY WORSHIP IS A WARZONE

Family worship is going to be a constant warzone. Satan is scheming to put an end to it in every family that he can. Your flesh wants nothing to do with it and your family at times may resist it. You will need to be at the feet of Jesus constantly asking him for strength to press on. Jesus warned us that in order to follow him we would have to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily. Obedience to God is no easy task. Yet Jesus also told us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light and that those who are weak and weary would find rest in him. So although we must fight for family worship, we get to fight with confidence knowing that we are yoked to Jesus and that he is the strong one who will guide us along our path if we abide with him. We are also privileged to rest in Christ and his finished work on the cross. This means that even when we drop the ball, and we will, we don’t have to wallow in our shame. Rather we turn back to God knowing he loves us the same and that he’s not done working in our lives to make us more like his son Jesus. 

GET STARTED AGAIN THIS ADVENT

If you have fallen away from consistently leading your family in worship, I want to encourage you to start again this Advent season. It is a fight and I want to encourage you to fight the good fight to make family worship a priority this season.